My Brain Hates Me

There’s nothing quite as special as climbing into a perfectly clean bed that smells great, snuggling down to sleep … and suddenly your brain treats you to a 3-D presentation on all the things that could go disastrously wrong in the near future.

That weird bubbling sensation in your chest, could that be the beginning of a heart attack? (No, it was just me digesting the protein snack I’d had before bed.)
What happens if the Orange Idiot gets elected again? Why are so many idiots getting elected now?
That sore on your gum, could it be cancer?
Everything’s so expensive now, why aren’t you getting another contract job to help pay the bills?
Why haven’t you canceled the cable yet and combined your cell phone lines into the cheaper 55+ line (because it requires sitting on the phone for hours waiting to be helped and I Don’t Wanna)?
Why does the side of your left calf hurt every time you lie on your left side (I shall leave the solution of this problem to the reader)?
You need to learn more about marketing and promo if you want to become a really successful indie author—so when are you going to do that?
Where are you going to find the money to create your LLC?
The two of you really need a vacation, but how are you going to pay for it?
When the hell are you going to get Shifter Woods: Claw finished and published? On that topic, when are you going to finish formatting To My Muse and publishing it wide?