There’s nothing quite as special as climbing into a perfectly clean bed that smells great, snuggling down to sleep … and suddenly your brain treats you to a 3-D presentation on all the things that could go disastrously wrong in the near future.

  • That weird bubbling sensation in your chest, could that be the beginning of a heart attack? (No, it was just me digesting the protein snack I’d had before bed.)
  • What happens if the Orange Idiot gets elected again? Why are so many idiots getting elected now?
  • That sore on your gum, could it be cancer?
  • Everything’s so expensive now, why aren’t you getting another contract job to help pay the bills?
  • Why haven’t you canceled the cable yet and combined your cell phone lines into the cheaper 55+ line (because it requires sitting on the phone for hours waiting to be helped and I Don’t Wanna)?
  • Why does the side of your left calf hurt every time you lie on your left side (I shall leave the solution of this problem to the reader)?
  • You need to learn more about marketing and promo if you want to become a really successful indie author—so when are you going to do that?
  • Where are you going to find the money to create your LLC?
  • The two of you really need a vacation, but how are you going to pay for it?
  • When the hell are you going to get Shifter Woods: Claw finished and published? On that topic, when are you going to finish formatting To My Muse and publishing it wide?

Needless to say, I woke up sandy-eyed and more than a little grumpy this morning, which was special.